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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471655">What Did I Do To Deserve Such Shame</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_fangirl9/pseuds/Writer_fangirl9'>Writer_fangirl9</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Angst, Father Iroh, Flash back to Agni Kai, Mentioned Ozai (Avatar), Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Sad Zuko (Avatar), Sadness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 21:34:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,261</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471655</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Writer_fangirl9/pseuds/Writer_fangirl9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>( Set In season two)<br/>Zuko is traveling after have separated from his uncle when unhappy memories from his past appear. He remembers when he was more young, corrupted, and stupid, if that’s even possible.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Azula &amp; Zuko (Avatar), Iroh &amp; Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What Did I Do To Deserve Such Shame</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this for fun in math class so I didn’t beta it or check for many mistakes.</p><p>If you see any problems or just like it please comment!</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Zuko grunted and shifted back over to his scarred side, discomfort making its way through his left arm and up to his neck. He opened his eyes and sat up. </p><p> </p><p>‘If I can’t sleep then why am I waiting here?!’ He thought with exasperation, ‘I should be moving on.’</p><p> </p><p>Fighting the tiredness he pried his eyes back open and got to his feet. He trudged over to the small pond he made his bed ( more like a pile of leaves and rocks) next to. </p><p> </p><p>He splashed the cold swampy water over his face with a shiver and gazed into the water.</p><p> </p><p>The longer he stared at his reflection the bigger his ugly scar appeared to be. The disfigured half of his face screamed of the day it was received. The burnt flesh marked the day he was banished, the day his father made it evidently clear he wanted Zuko gone forever. </p><p> </p><p>If only he had been a natural fire bender like Azula, then maybe things would be different. Maybe then he would be in his old room, snuggled under the thin blankets having a restful sleep.</p><p> </p><p>Maybe that would have been the only difference. Father never loved him, Father despised him. </p><p> </p><p>Even if Zuko was never banished, Father wouldn’t have loved him. Firelord Ozai favored Azula and no one else. The only people left in his immediate family hates him. </p><p>****************************************</p><p>Zuko was lying on the infirmary cot, bandages wrapped around his left eye and ear, the nauseating smell of charred flesh hung in the air. His throat was dry and itchy from his screaming after the medics applied the bandages. Zuko has never felt so weak and pathetic in his life. His body shaked from sobbing himself to sleep and awake again. Scenes from the Agni Kai flashed through his head every time he closed his eyes. Zuko’s head throbbed, but that didn’t light a candle to the unbearable pain that wrapped around his head. </p><p> </p><p>His vision was slightly blurred, but he was still able to make out the shape of Uncle Iroh sitting in the corner, head bent.</p><p> </p><p>A healer walked into the tent and whispered something to the General, they both walked out together leaving the Young Prince alone for a moment. </p><p> </p><p>Not less than two seconds later a tall, slender form pranced into the medical tent without bothering to close the cloth flap. Zuko blinked a few times, his eyes clearing up slightly and adjusting to the light streaming in behind the figure. </p><p> </p><p>“ Good Zuzu, you're awake.” A stiff voice rang into his right ear, slightly muffled due to the bandage tightly binding it. “ I came to see you days ago and had to leave because of your pathetic screaming.”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko tried to ignore that her eyes showed no pity or sincerity, instead they were cold, just like Fathers had been when he-</p><p> </p><p>“ Can you even hear me with that stupid thing around your ear?”</p><p> </p><p>Zuko licked his lips and attempted to speak, his voice sounding more hoarse then usual as he replied.</p><p> </p><p>“ Days ago?” Was the only thing he could muster.</p><p> </p><p>“ The Agni Kai was almost a week ago, but you practically went crazy after your bandages were first applied. Spirits, the healers probably drugged you.” Azula said.</p><p> </p><p>“ Who else—“ Zuko started but was cut off by Azula.</p><p> </p><p>“ Only I cared to visit you, you being a disgrace to the royal family and all. Not even Mai came to visit you.”</p><p> </p><p>Her harsh words came so quickly to Zuko, if his vision wasn’t so distorted he would have seen the vile glint in his sisters eye that predicted when she was going to say something horrible.</p><p> </p><p>“ Father didn’t come either,” she stated, her eyes no longer cold but now glowing evilly, “ he wishes you were dead.” </p><p> </p><p>Zuko didn’t even argue with Azula. It was true, probably. Even so, the words burned Zuko on the inside almost as bad as he was burned on the outside.</p><p> </p><p>“ Princess Azula!” </p><p> </p><p>Zuko shifted his head slightly so he could see a round figure coming in from the outside.</p><p> </p><p>“ What, Father said it himself.” She shrugged nonchalantly, her face returning to the disinterested face she kept, it’s consistency growing after spending more time with Mai.</p><p> </p><p>The words hit Zuko even harder than the last, he closed his good eye and zoned out his uncle, scolding the young girl.<br/>
‘ Azula always lies.” He chanted over and over again in his head. At ten years old, she managed to find the weakest spots in people, weather intentional or not. </p><p> </p><p>Zuko opened his non bandaged eye and noted that Azula was no longer in the tent, which brought only a small bit of happiness. Too small however.</p><p> </p><p>“ Nice to see you awake, Prince Zuko.” This time, the words pleasant and cheerful, with only a hint of sternness left over from him talking to Azula.</p><p> </p><p>“ How are you feeling?” </p><p> </p><p>Zuko swallowed and carefully chose his words before responding.</p><p> </p><p>“ Numb.” He said without as much emotion as possible. It wasn’t a lie though, the pain was starting to subdue slightly, leaving a dull ache, but the pain on the inside was growing by the minute.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko looked over to his uncle and did not return the smile he was receiving.</p><p> </p><p>“ You were out for quite a long time my nephew, it is nice to see you in the right state of mind.” </p><p> </p><p>Iroh was partly right, the young prince was out for a while, but there were some patches he remembered. The patches where the healers and medics thought he was asleep, Zuko remembered all of the conversations, and all of the gossip.</p><p> </p><p>-What kind of monster would burn a 13 year old?!- would be followed with, -Someone who doesn’t care for his own- </p><p> </p><p>“ She worries for you.” </p><p> </p><p>That statement brought Zuko back to reality.</p><p> </p><p>“ Your sister, she worries.” Iroh repeated.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko, too weak to say anything else just furrowed his eyebrow slightly in response.</p><p> </p><p>“ We were unsure if you were going to make it.” Iroh said, making his way over to the tent flap and closing it, easing the discomfort of Zuko’s eye.  </p><p> </p><p>Zuko said nothing. He desperately wished he had died. Anything would be better than this. </p><p> </p><p>“ Azula is only ten, my nephew. She says harsh things because she worries. She loves you.” </p><p> </p><p>Zuko wished what Uncle said was true, but Iroh wouldn’t know. He was away for so long and never got the chance to really know Azula, he just assumed the girl’s harsh remarks came from her wildness.</p><p> </p><p>Zuko knew Azula, Iroh didn’t. Azula hated Zuko. She was Father’s favorite. Although Mother would be insisting again and again she loved both her children easily and tried to hide her favoritism, Zuko was her favorite, not Azula. If only Father was the same. Father made it evidently clear Azula was his favorite since her birth, he made it even more so now that he burned off half of Zuko’s face and banished him. </p><p> </p><p>“ Why don’t you get some rest, Prince Zuko.” Uncle Iroh declared. </p><p> </p><p>Young Zuko was too tired to protest and declare he had already slept half the day away, so instead he tried to relax and relish in the time he had before the healer had to come and change his bandages.</p><p>****************************************</p><p>Zuko blinked and looked up from the pond in realization. In spite of himself, in spite of his father, in spite of his evil sister, in spite of his jolly, fat uncle. In spite of the Avatar himself, the corners of his mouth tugged upward slightly.</p><p>He had Mothers nose.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This is my first Avatar fanfic, and naturally it is about mah boi Zuko!!!!</p><p>Thanks for reading!! &lt;3</p><p>I would appreciate a kudos and for you to check out my other works at my dashboard.</p><p>:) ;) &lt;3</p><p>Don’t be shy to comment, I enjoy responding to them!!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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